Love Is By Choice Part 2/4

By the time my senior year of high school rolled there was one bright spot I met this girl online on facebook like we

Were on an anime group and her name is 02 now I can't mention her name because she will probably not like to and I don't want drama,

Any way so her family had just moved from algeria to mauritania and she didn't know anything about the mauritanian hierarchy back then.

And during my childhood I watched an incredible amount of television and before I could tell time from a clock I would tell it from television, I would see what show is on and know the time, like I was raised by two moms spacetoon and mbc2 you get the point.

Anyway so she just thought I was like really cool funny and smart and my message game was so tight like whatever I lacked in real life back then, like ladies reading this if you met me online back then okay game over during that 100mb my dad gives me for the internet pfff stop game over,

But she liked me and we kept messaging and I remember she invited me over to her house like a study group, so I went to this beautiful white gorgeous house in the city center by a taxi I went in with complete shyness her mom welcomed me in to the place where 02 was in,

Her mom is a school teacher and her dad was a cardiologist they were this perfect family, and I remember sitting there in the living room we were just doing some integrals and she's like "Hey let's have lunch" and I went eating rise with meat balls with her family they're like would you like some juise I'm like this is awesome this is exactly what I see on tv and I kept coming over couple times and then she asked me the question ..

She's like "We studying all the time at my house why don't we study at yours"

And I said "Ugh" I thought to myself no way besides I don't want you know to deal with "He brought a girl" situation, all this time what I told my family is I was studying at a boy house and we had cardinal rule no girls friend allowed,

Mauritanian parents are like from age ages 0 through 30 no girls allowed and when you're 35 they are like why can't you talk to girls.

One time earlier she called me and my mom picked up she goes hi it's 02 is abdellahi there? Mom says, what do you want 02? She goes I had a geometry question can I ask abdellahi

Mom goes, ok 02 ask me the question then I'll ask abdellahi

I though, great I'm going to die single!

But like I felt like she was cool that's why I invited her over and I remember like just like before she came over I was like everyone I'm having a friend of mine she is coming and we going to study together for the exam and everyone was like "Oooooooh "

My mom was cool and my brothers lost their minds like are you going to marry her!

But I remember we were in the room doing integrals and she could see my mom sitting on the door watching us like jail guard and she could hear my sisters whispering and giggling.

I was looking down at my calculus book like "Oh please don't say anything don't say ..Don't say anything " and I look up at her and she looks up from her book she was like your home seems really nice.

And I was like I'm in love with you, you are my white princess could we get married now.

But I kept coming over to her house and we kept doing integrals xd

And one evening she was walking me out to my way out the house and she closed the front door and she leaned in and kiss me bam right there I mean no tongue or anything but like my first kiss it was amazing butterflies, fireworks it was bananas and then she just looked at me she got back in and I love that about her she knew the rules no fun no female friends especially no girlfriend and that was awesome but that she gave me that moment.

She did it she knew we can't be you know boyfriend and girlfriend like long dates and stuff like that and all we had was that stolen moment at the end of our algebra exercise and it meant everything to me.

The next day we met I didn't say anything and the weather between us was super incontestable then she was like look like I didn't want to kind of embarrass you or anything like that but ever since my family's moved from algeria you've been the best friend to me and I think I really love you and I was just wondering would you want to be in a relationship with me.

And I was like yes my white princess I'll marry you no actually I didn't say that but I agreed and we became love birds for couple months madly in love she introduced my to korean culture we would exchange everything from videos to clothing before we broke up over something I can not tell but as any immature relationship it doesn't last forever. What I can say is that I cried so much and I thought of throwing my self into upcoming traffic thinking the world is over but thank god I didn't.

The following year I went to college I thought to my self I wanna do something where I don't lose my time night in and out just like dating so I decided to do an art exposition and I drew every day I was not the best but I stuck with it, I mean yeah I was also upset over a girl and decided to use those emotions toward something productive but I was also board of being alone, now I did my exposition and I got kinda a little attention from people, local and international news and I felt important and validated for that moment.

Next:

..And on my third year of college following my obsession with korean culture I met this palestinian girl online on facebook..

Anyway what does this mean?

In short it means that I saw in her someone who I felt could provide me with all my physical and emotional needs and she thought in me I could provide her with the same right that was love for us, but each one is looking out for his own needs it's not well for the other the other person is just a tool a vehicle for my gratification too much of what is called love is fish love.

"Young man why are you eating that fish a man says because I love fish you love the fish that's why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it he said don't tell me you love the fish you love yourself and because the fish tastes good to you therefore you took it out of the water and killed it in boiled it "

Thanks for reading!

See you in next part.